My wife and I try our best to encourage our children to be good people. Teaching them to say “please” and “thank you” is one piece of that. Getting them to understand the importance of thinking about others can be a little more difficult. A book called ‘BE KIND’ written by Pat Zietlow Miller, and illustrated by Jen Hill makes the task of explaining why it’s important to be nice much simpler. The author was kind enough to respond to some questions, in the hopes that her words can do some good for anyone looking for some positivity.
All Nerds Allowed: How do you feel you learned the values you try to instill in others in the book ‘Be Kind’?
Pat Zietlow Miller: This might sound trite, but from my parents. My mom and dad were always volunteering at our church when I was growing up. They mowed the lawn, painted rooms, planted flowers, helped in the kitchen, taught Sunday School, planned Vacation Bible School, served on the church council and more. So I grew up helping with those things too.
And, I specifically remember one time when my sister and I didn’t say “hi” to a boy in our class when we saw him outside of school. We weren’t actively trying to be mean, we didn’t know him very well, but my mom got all over us for not being polite and acknowledging him. And I remember that to this day. It would have taken no extra time or effort for us to say “hello” as we walked by, and it would have been the kind thing to do.
ANA: Is there a specific moment when someone was particularly nice to you that inspired the book?
“It would have been so easy for that woman to walk by me. But she was kind. She stopped to help.”
PZM: This incident didn’t inspire the book, but I share it when I talk to kids about kindness. For my day job, I work at a very large insurance company’s national headquarters. The company is so big that there’s no way to know everyone in the building.
I was leaving work one day, carrying a huge tote bag full of books. I was sure I wouldn’t have a problem managing it, because I’ve always prided myself on being strong. But halfway down the hall, I found myself having to stop every few steps and set the bag down for a bit.
A woman I didn’t know asked if I needed help. I almost said, “No.” But, I ended up being honest and saying that I did. So we each took a handle of the bag and carried it down that hall, around a corner, down another hall, through a revolving door, across the reception area, up an escalator and through a parking garage to my car.
This was completely out of this woman’s way. But she helped me. And it reminded me to be more aware of people I pass who might need help. It would have been so easy for that woman to walk by me. And I wouldn’t not have thought less of her if she had.
But she was kind. She stopped to help.
“I hope my books are one way I can bring kindness to the world.”
ANA: Is there a specific memory you like to recall of a time you were kind to a person or group that made a measurable positive difference in their life?
PZM: It’s hard to say. I think we often don’t know the impact of our words or actions on someone else. Kindness is sort of like writing a book. You do your best to do things properly, but once you’ve written something, or tried to be kind, it’s out of your control and it’s up to the other person as to how they perceive what you did or created.
I’ve gotten several notes or emails about the difference my books made in someone’s life, and that’s a feeling that never gets old. I’ve heard of a woman who read my books to her mother, who was suffering from dementia, and they helped calm her down when she was agitated. I’ve also heard from parents whose kids were afraid of the dark. They read my book WIDE-AWAKE BEAR, and then the kids slept with the book.
So I hope my books are one way I can bring kindness to the world.
ANA: Is there a time you think back to when you feel you could have been kinder to someone, and what would you have done differently?
PZM: As a parent, I can think of several times I wish I would have been more patient, more kind or more understanding with my children. I should have let them wear the mismatched outfit to school, been more flexible about bedtime or listened longer to their school drama. It’s easy to forget that a lot of things don’t matter so much in the long run. I wish I would have saved my parental power for the times that truly did matter and let a lot of the rest go.
ANA: Do you have a favorite children’s book you grew up with?
PZM: The two books I remember the most are BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA by Katherine Patterson and THE WESTING GAME by Ellen Raskin. Both were gifts from my librarian aunt, and I read them repeatedly. I still have that copy of THE WESTING GAME, and I bet my sister still has that copy of BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA. They were the absolute definition of well-loved books.
ANA: Is there anything you would like to plug or share with my readers?
PZM: I have two new picture books out that I am very pleased with.
- REMARKABLY YOU, illustrated by Patrice Barton, is about celebrating all the things that make you remarkable, whether you’re 4 or 104. It’s uplifting and inspiring and very fun to read out loud.
- WHEN YOU ARE BRAVE, illustrated by Eliza Wheeler, is about finding your inner courage when you need it. The art is luminous, and there’s bonus art under the book’s paper jacket.
I cannot thank Pat Zietlow Miller enough for not only taking the time to answer these questions, but also for answering them so thoroughly. I would encourage everyone to seek out all of her work. You can also find her on Twitter at @PatZMiller and on Instagram at PatZMill. The illustrator of ‘BE KIND’, Jen Hill can be found at @JenHillIllustrator on Twitter and JenHillStudio on Instagram.
Share your favorite story of kindness in the comments below. How has an act of kindness impacted your life, and how have you tried to do the same for someone else?